I’ve been meeting with an advisor lately to address my career fears and uncertainties.
They noticed a few things about me and my attitude towards work.
When I start something, instead of starting at the lowest speed, I slam the accelerator.
I have to hurry and get my certificate! I have to hurry and get a job!
Instead of adding one thing at a time to my plate, I bury myself with tasks.
I need to take five design classes and perform perfectly, so I can be competitive and get a job!
By the half year mark, I’m completely exhausted and grow to detest the very thing I loved and couldn’t wait to start.
I get frustrated with myself, thinking that I’m incompetent and terrible at what I do.
Maybe I’m not cut out for this. My work sucks compared to everyone else’s.
Commence the mental noise!
…and it’s only been 1-2 semester(s) of graphic design (as my advisor kindly pointed out).
It’s not normal to take five classes in your major at once (esp. with one class being 4 hours long).
It’s not normal to expect yourself to be “perfect” at something after 1-2 semesters of work.
How did I come to think that all of that was normal?
Since when did I deprive myself of the opportunity to grow?
Since when did I stop taking the time to let things seep in without rushing and expecting immediate results?
Although I’m glad I’ve come to this realization early on in my graphic design journey, I wish I had someone to teach me how to take smaller bites–to explore without expectation.