Lately, the topic of money has been coming up a lot more at home.
EDD, exorbitant rent prices, expenses…
When my parents retire, I will become the sole breadwinner.
Although this was inevitable, I wish my parents had been smarter with money. I wish they had goals for their financial future. I wish money didn’t have to loom over our heads everyday.
My parents worked as business owners throughout my childhood years. I grew up not knowing much about how money worked or how much our rent was. I was blissfully unaware of money yet made painfully aware of the wreckage it left behind on my family and surroundings. My father chose to leave me in the dark, his financial anxieties seeping through the cracks of our home while my mother sealed those cracks with guilt over spending and frugal practices. My father said we’d get by while my mother said we’d never get by.
I’m 26 and my feelings on our financial situation still oscillate between “We can afford it” to “We can’t afford anything.” These thoughts and more run through my head whenever I buy something–even if said thing is a $6 set of new drawing pencils. Do I need this? Do I reeeaaally need this? How do I know if need this? My time in my graphic design program has elevated those anxieties because of the expensive software and the sheer number of supplies needed for a class. T-squares, bezier curve templates, sketchbooks, markers, rulers, tracing paper, marker paper, adobe creative suite, etc. However, I’m at least thankful that I’m not in a full-fledged art school. (God knows how much more expensive facility and supply fees would be and how much more guilt and pressure I would suffer from loans and all that spending.)
Although I have yet to learn more about money, I hope to spend more time planning and budgeting once I get more time to because I know firsthand that there’s no point to saving without any goal or purpose.